How to Manage Relationship Expectations

The importance of managing expectations

High expectations in a relationship put unnecessary pressure on both yourself and your new partner. These expectations detract from the enjoyment of spending time with your partner and getting to know them better. Anticipation of how the relationship will turn out can cause unnecessary conflict and emotional distress. However, when you manage your expectations wisely right from the start you lay a healthy foundation for your new partnership. Learning to manage your expectations isn’t the same as having low standards. You should expect to be treated with kindness and respect by your partner. Any form of abuse is never acceptable. Healthy relationship expectations demonstrate self-respect and can help you to build a satisfying relationship that offers you an intimate connection with another person.

Signs of unrealistic expectations

While it’s beneficial to decide on a certain degree of commitment at the start of the relationship, expecting your partner to be fully committed after the first date can lead to disappointment. The aim of the initial dating period is to get to know each other better so that you can decide whether to pursue a serious relationship or not. Likewise, its problematic to expect your new partner to drop their other commitments so that they can devote all their free time to you. Expecting your partner to be perfect or your relationship to be flawless can also result in emotional distress. While a supportive partner can make facing life’s challenges easier, expecting your relationship to be the solution to all of your problems is unrealistic.

How to manage your expectations

An essential relationship tip that everyone can benefit from is to set healthy expectations right from the start. Learn how to manage your expectations in a relationship by implementing the following advice:

• Communicate effectively

Good communication is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship. Take the time to express your wants and needs to your partner rather than expecting your partner to already know what your needs are. Make sure that you understand what you need first so that you can communicate your request clearly. Describe your request using observable examples rather than vague terms. Its also beneficial to ask your partner what their wants and needs are. Make sure that you practice active listening by concentrating on what your partner is saying without interrupting them. Once they’ve finished expressing themselves, reflect on what they’ve said to check that you have understood them correctly.

• Consider the effects of your expectations

Thinking about the outcomes of your expectations is a helpful tool that you can use to determine whether your expectations are beneficial or detrimental to your relationship. Check if your expectation helps you to develop a satisfying relationship that can be sustained over time. You can also consider whether your expectation is supportive of what is important to you. If your aspirations are putting your relationship in jeopardy, you can consider letting them go.

• Learn how to deal with conflict

Expecting your relationship to be flawless can result in the avoidance of conflict. If you believe that conflict puts your relationship at risk, unaddressed resentment can build up over time. Its beneficial to address issues in your relationship as they arise by expressing yourself honestly and by considering your partner’s perspective. Be willing to accept your share of responsibility and admit when you are at fault. Learning to compromise is essential when you’re building a healthy relationship. Disagreements that are resolved constructively can strengthen your partnership.

You can increase your relationship satisfaction by learning to manage your expectations effectively. Contact Life Counsel and book a relationship counselling session today.